-shock-

how come for so long a dream of such effect came to me again..

i was out alone walking aimlessly and about to go home. but i noticed you jl n px and another friend together.
it was so real. i just stooped my head low and pretend i didnt see and walk away. yet i turned one round and went back to say hi to you all. i thought it was real. it was so close to me. yet so far...

i joined you 3 for western dinner. you were wearing a white tee. then i was left out as the 3 of you were talking. then came a rough looking guy who went over to your side and became quite agitated and talked to you. i could tell that you were scared. i immediately cut between the two of you and confronted man and shouted at him
" what do you want?" i knew you dont know who he is.. maybe you do but i dont know..
i distracted him and ask the girls to bring you off first. then i stopped him and went off with you all. i took you off to hide somewhere. and i felt your hand around mine once again. the way it used to be. of trust. of love. and of joy. i took you away from the place. the others just left..just like that.

we went to a sweet shop where you were looking for something. i climbed up to take for you and the uncle at the shop say " what a caring boyfriend you have." you just smiled. i wanted to clarify that you were not, just my ex.. but u just took my hand and went out after buying the stuff. u held my hand close to you like before. the smile that i remembered back on your face. lets go somewhere alone you said. i realised that you never stopped the loving..

perhaps.

i dont want to say anything to scare you. im just saying that some of my dreams do happen. i dont want it to happen of course. cause if it does i will have to be there to save you. of course, if it happens like my dream i wont run away i will take you along. cause no one else helped you.

do you watch the channel 8 9pm show. saw the sliding down the slope thing they played? i never had the chance to bring you to play at MacRitchie Reservoir. i dont blame anyone. i never had the luxury of time and chance to plan anything special and memorable. i played it so many times before long before i went sec 3 i think. yet when i ask people not many know. some even laugh at me. but i want to share this simple joy with the one i...

nvm.

the sequence of events that never should have happened.

-why is it that whenever i put my trust into people whom i gained to associate to they always disappoint in the end. and to have them turn around with others to gang up on me. i dont even have biases in the beginning until i trusted you all, yet now the foe is your friend and im the fool in the eyes of you all. cant i have die-hard friends who can side with me whenever i do anything at all? why cant the rest see through the hypocrites?! and WHY CANT I EVER LEARN TO BE A HYPOCRITE!?!?!-

-i have heard someone said to me before.有时候你得假一点，但是你不可对我假啊!-

am i to blame that i cant do it? i have to show everything i think? that i cant act in front of anyone?

im bad. im bad at this game called life. it sux when you know you suck even at being bad. bad guys rule. being good makes you a loser. everything goes your way when you are bad. how fair this is....