-am i mental?-

i got these voices in my head
who would understand
a moment of silence
will start a conversation
in my head
with no relevant topic or catalyst nor response

im nuts
in need help
i dont know how can my attitude change so much
i know its never acceptable for myself
to fight for money
but
i dont want to be stuck in this shit
liberate
when will my troubles end
i have the opportunity
people around me dont seem to want it as bad as i want them to have
老板的心态
i think..getting blurred

maybe i dont deserve it yet
actions doesnt match commitment yet..
i dont know
i need help


whats going on with the world
9 year old mum
12 year old sex partner
when i was that age
wasnt it about exams
hopscotch
cartoons
running about
snacks
but not procreating...right?
so isnt it ironic
everyone is having sex
except me
haha.
like i really care
but it just tingles me
people of the future?

thats why
i told U before
i feared for oUr future
everyday living
housing
oUr future kids in this society
when i didnt have plans
during then
i was lost wihtout a direction
i had wanted U to find someone else
who is capable of taking care of U
because i looked at my own family
in shambles
but even at that moment i know i was wrong
i didnt want it
i should never have that thought
i am guilty
of thinking too much
outrageous
and letting U doubt my sincerity

now

im ready
to face whatever crap may happen
precautions
whatsoever
its just this
incomplete part of me
through this beginning of the journey
i have no fear
because take it or leave it
im in it
for good
alone
or otherwise
and i hope i know
that the people i want to help around me
can finally understand me
so i can be granted the wish
of carrying a smile on my face
when i enter my coffin
and return to Earth