-t0rn apArt-

did i ever tell yoU that im a perfectionist?
im..iaskforitformyselfonly
i cant be anymore
dontthink
im delusional
my ideas so ruthlesly torn apart in my world
mymethodsconfounded
i never even caught the tremors before the quake
the warning signs before the flood
so juvenile
my mistakes
im exacting the things i hate


the hurt
how do i
how will i
know how they feel now?
what i have been building all this while i have been so wrong about
not having good results is one thing
but not knowing the effects of my actions..
didnt they want the results i had?
i asked
guess i listened
but i didnt understand them all


am i still cut out for this
am i still motivated for this turbulence
or am i just sticking my head in it just because i cant turn back
i cant tell
nobody can
i assure u
nobody can find me MY answer now


i thought my tears were dry
somehow this pains me enough to see them again
im afraid to pick up the reins
and start the horses infront of the chariot
towards the finish line
again
i know people are cheering
people are jeering
people are looking
i just have to know what my reasons are again

in the wilderness.
who can pick me up now
who knows who will pass by
that person will just determine whats my next step
and i really want to wait and be fed
i never had that for a long time
cant i?