-so far. the panjang me. muka macam tahi-

so goes another week. countless falling asleeps and late wake ups.. hell the people are starting to get on my nerves. beginning with this SC freak with the sour dough (bread) chimp face.. ha. so whats with the obsession with the pumping iron? with your frame and face and totally CMI attitude, nothings gonna make you a chick magnet.. unless you dont have that intention.. just be content with being the midget that you are and sob in the miserable corner of your life.. oh.. and with that in mind.. i see that you cant handle and manage a blog yourself too . i think so. " i wont be a sissy. girls write blogs." so u say. i bet you dont have the language aptitude to handle one yourself! ha. how many millions of bloggers are male too? writting a blog makes u a girl? so your just chewing sour grapes and whining after somebody criticised your sorry behind on the Net.. also that only highlights your lack of linguistic capability. too many bombastic words for you already eh? oh ya..and you said you WILL say whatever you think directly and not post some stupid blog.. hell yeah.. i did notice you trying to coerce others to say what you feel to the person intended... "hey tell him to stop complaining like a girl and move that thing".. so this is our way of speaking up.. in volumes barely audible from 1 metre onwards. COWARD

hmm.. the morning mist and the rain the night before created a red mist.. such beautiful sights appear whenever i dont have a camera with me.. they say life's nicest things exist in flashes. and i miss the opportunity to capture them all everytime. or did i not?

i asked Quentin to slap me the next time i talk too loud/too much. he refuses. he says i rather be noisy than quiet. but why cant he understand . haha.. nobody will anyway.. i have to make it known. i wan to be different from the past. i have to stop being irritatin. heck its getting to me too...

BORED FROM MOBILE ACTIVITY. i guess im just detestable. so whats with the lack of replies and not picking up my call. just wanting a shout out. but no. no chance in hell. How do timothy and quentin seem so happy everyday.. quentin has those sweet moments every night calling Adele, while we chide him.. timothy? never seen him sulk at all.. happy go lucky.. some people have all the luck.

12-13-14 July. never felt so good doing fatigue duty ( aka work-that-nobody-else-wants-to-do-give-a-choice)
built a scaffold and climbed to a height never experienced b3fore.. truly top of the world. scary? not at all. i like the rush of danger in my blood. the feeling of having your life suspended on a thin line of error gives me a kick like no other. i guess if any insurance company knows about this i may not be able to buy any policies at all.. haha. hanging up banners and flags. Eugene's birthday on the 12th.. haha had a drinking session with all of them.. fries,chicken,duck,nuts, oily stuff. yesh and Tiger.. hoho.. 5 mugs! never had this before.. and looking at all of them turning red-faced ..what a good laugh. luckily we didnt have to carry anyone back.. lol..

with all that junk inside my body, seeing all the others turn crazy, i never thought i would wake up so angry.. yes its a dream. and what a dream that was. Going to your house. getting welcomed. even by you. and talking with your with smiles. can i afford it now? i dunno. but the thing is. so many other guys are there too. if im not wrong your yandao Yichang is there too. and i feel so distanced even though we spent more time together than you spent with him. and deep inside i know the me in the dream was positively trying to win you back. and you werent as harsh and firm on not letting me ... my dreams. they are killing me. what do they mean. they either come true, or the exact opposite happens. I don wanna know. i m so scared of dreaming again. 6 months on this is the second time i am scared of dreaming yet again. God. why do i deserve these trials and tribulations.

(being called "panjang" by the others. getting laughed at)

-God. gave me the gift of height. took away everything else. 19 years on i know not of my forte. except failing everything i try and doing badly at everything i like-