- down-ed - *but dont say i not trying to get back up*

I HAVE NO AMBITION
I HAVE NO DESIRE
I CANT FEEL A PASSION TO DO SOMETHING BIG
I NEVER VISUALISED BEING A REAL LEADER

REALLY? REALLY MEH? REALLY GOT MEH? HOW CUM I DUNO LEH?

restart engine..rrrr
i accept it all as a means to improve
its ok


29th March
heard something
long conversation through sms
knew alot
perhaps too much
let to overclouding of my brain
couldnt sleep
(in fact i dreamt alot of the wrong things)


and the biggest pain was
my feelings are always misplaced
to the very (coincidental) people who will leave me feeling so much alone (times a million exponentially)
so bear with me
while i bare all
its not so nice to even write it all here
but i know

why i swear to keep myself to myself (and someone else)
why the feeling is still...there
i shall keep it
while maintaining my principles
and my directions
because i am still faaaaarrrrr..


and i cried in the cab today
i chose to cab
because i cannot see myself standing in the train
and uncontrollable
i felt lonely
very
lonely