-gone. enjoy-

early wake up and still came to an inactive handphone.. i guess i should just terminate my line..
went to Alexandra Hospital. x-ray and blood test wait. cold. discharged. everything is alright. sheesh. i didnt understand the x-ray film one bit. but he says fine. im fine then.

Jp for drifting with Julian. heck. to think i started out using Trueno. and look at how others surpass me. why is it that i can never excel in something that others cant do as well? heck. not even second best..and even being second best is not good enough. in life im always a "almost-there". screw this. just go home and rot.

tonight's bp's anniversary dinner. and somehow popped a message asking whether i was going. how i wish i am going. but what was i thinking. not much friends to see there. and not much things to look forward to. yes perhaps seeing u is something i can look forward to. but.. what will i do? who will i see? im trapped in the dilemma of wanting/not wanting. and so i left it as it is. i didnt buy the ticket. and ensured u will have a happy night, not having to avoid anything or anyone( or perhaps i just think too much).

hi meiz.. if ur reading this.. hows your parade? smart number 1 uniform right? envious.. i never had the chance to.. and alot of stuff i never will get to try in life. like .... nvm..

tough luck. i lost another friend this week. and again its of no fault of mine.

so i will miss my movie. Initial D. gone. never getting the chance to watch it. thats normal to me. missing the greatest stuff i can ever want.

-going on. blaming self. becoming the greatest loser far worse than those that i criticise. yet the biggest idiot is myself. peace.-

when was the last time i wept? 6 months ago. and i succumb to my emotions again.

i hope you are reading. and you too. not because i want you 2 to pity me. but to see what i feel. and what i did. which i didnt do at all. fault? let it be all mine.