-is my life a debt i cant pay off-
shit this sick feeling
i vow never to help all the people who dont deserve my help anymore. cause they dont seem to give a shit whether i need help in somethings. like cgh that mothafker. everything thats not his is trash. dump dump dump. f*k u man. wait till i dump your things without u knowing and see u crying for help.
shit this existence of debt
what am i. born to be hated? to be a source where people vent their frustrations on? have i always been being used? just because i dont need to have a reason to help others? and so take me for granted? then f*k it man just let me die and see all the people cry and mourn my loss. whoever appreciates what i did at times of need? they only complain what i didnt do. or what i did wrong.
will anyone of u bring up this to your own parents? that u hate them for everything they have done to bring u up. can u bear to say this even if they asked for it? would u? so how could i tell them : hey father. f*k u for bringing the whole house into discordance. and leaving me with a bad name just being associated with u. and hey mother shit u too. this tyranny is so last century. u still expect me to be your puppet and be at your beck and call? i have my own life and privacy k? stop giving me these "privileges" like a reward. i dont have to earn such stuff. im human too. i want to live my life. not explain to u every single bloody thing i do. and not only u have your moods. im bloody human and alive and have emotions. so dont go around saying i dont give a f*k about how u feel. cause u never put how i feel into your mind. you all are just YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU all the time. how i must behave. how i must perform.
do u all even realise what i have lost all these years. i lost friends. i lost my motive in life. i lost will. i lost inspiration. i lost confidence. i lost love. i wish i can say u all are not involved with all that.
BUT HELL NO.
slam the door all u want. complain. scream. vulgarities. condemn me. u think i want to book out every weekend seeing this. going thru this. f*k no. but do i have a choice.
all u all ever do is make me cry in my sleep. scream into my pillow. and not letting the whole frikin world know how i feel. im insignificant.
-now if only someone can show u what i wrote here.-
i vow never to help all the people who dont deserve my help anymore. cause they dont seem to give a shit whether i need help in somethings. like cgh that mothafker. everything thats not his is trash. dump dump dump. f*k u man. wait till i dump your things without u knowing and see u crying for help.
shit this existence of debt
what am i. born to be hated? to be a source where people vent their frustrations on? have i always been being used? just because i dont need to have a reason to help others? and so take me for granted? then f*k it man just let me die and see all the people cry and mourn my loss. whoever appreciates what i did at times of need? they only complain what i didnt do. or what i did wrong.
will anyone of u bring up this to your own parents? that u hate them for everything they have done to bring u up. can u bear to say this even if they asked for it? would u? so how could i tell them : hey father. f*k u for bringing the whole house into discordance. and leaving me with a bad name just being associated with u. and hey mother shit u too. this tyranny is so last century. u still expect me to be your puppet and be at your beck and call? i have my own life and privacy k? stop giving me these "privileges" like a reward. i dont have to earn such stuff. im human too. i want to live my life. not explain to u every single bloody thing i do. and not only u have your moods. im bloody human and alive and have emotions. so dont go around saying i dont give a f*k about how u feel. cause u never put how i feel into your mind. you all are just YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU all the time. how i must behave. how i must perform.
do u all even realise what i have lost all these years. i lost friends. i lost my motive in life. i lost will. i lost inspiration. i lost confidence. i lost love. i wish i can say u all are not involved with all that.
BUT HELL NO.
slam the door all u want. complain. scream. vulgarities. condemn me. u think i want to book out every weekend seeing this. going thru this. f*k no. but do i have a choice.
all u all ever do is make me cry in my sleep. scream into my pillow. and not letting the whole frikin world know how i feel. im insignificant.
-now if only someone can show u what i wrote here.-
posted by -SlackDream*poof*Reality- at
2/19/2006 01:04:00 AM
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