- NUA-tivity -

消极。是会感染的。
why are there so many people who dont seem to see opportunities, and fear the obvious?
choose to wait, and regret. choose not followonly when proven, and blame others?

why am i inflicting pain to myself? this 3 weeks has been so painful. pining for hope.
2 week ulcer, sprained thumb. dry lips, groggy eyes, human problems, brain problems.
lack of motivation.

fug. i dont believe it. i need someone here to push me. a different kind of push.
i am that weak i have to admit finally.
desperate.

nua-tivity to the max. i want to let go. just disappear like what i did before to everyone. but i know that i cant. and i know this process is worth it. but hey.. its hard now ok.. im flesh and blood. i want to run away!

i dont want to let anyone down. much less myself. and Von who always makes me feel..well i still have value that i can give others.

guess have to accept that Princess is..gone?
i promise too i will stop paying girls attention.
last night i already screamed into the haze coverd sky that " i have no more confidence in girls to Cindy Jiez" then Minz saw and heard it. haha. well. truth hurts.

trust. my power. the opportuniy's power. and i will bring you to places you have never imagined. and unparalleled wealth..you have never smelt or thought possible.

before that. i want to nua. just. lie in the pool whole day.. can i ?