-come uppance? or just luck (or e lack of)-

groan. wasted a good weekend lying in bed most of the time. grimer.. studying while stuffing up to sweat off the temperature. yes 40.2 degrees hit me. in space of 6 weeks! never had this before. curses is my body that bad?... weak..

pooped.. stiff joint aching head. still book in to camp. saw the MO and got medication. stuck in the sickbay with no form of entertainment..books..mags..tv..etc. thank god im out in 12 hours..

coming to mid week now, cant understand why i feel the tinge of loneliness again. its surging back..ebb by ebb.. feels like a sense of longing for a simple gesture like a hug or an affectionate good morning or good night. maybe i can be happier right now by being gay. yep. as in homo..lol.

"to shed me old shell" still stands as my motto. haven been angry or sad for 10 days and running. i rock x10. it feels great even when i wake up lacking sleep i still feel fresher then everyone else.

poor LBK. did i mention him before? hmm. well i have no idea why, but he broke down today during extra training. peers' reactions giving him pressure? or some remarks not aimed at him gone to his head? i admit i cant really accept everything he does. but i dont blame him for what he does. eccentricity is a unique trait in itself. but seeing others feeling bad/suffering/being teased/ no matter how i hate him/her, i still feel for them. i guess this makes me human still.

update from Cafe at camp. nice environment. but notice i cant get coloured fonts. grr. XP and yet without java. HA. or something missing that doesnt allow it. zzzz