-absolut-

gah.. ups and downs to the max. first the theft case in camp that finally resolved. you wouldnt expect the security who is supposed to guard your place to steal from you would you? but thank goodness the victims got their stuff back. poor ipod and hp...

soccer match. a 1-2 loss. man i didnt get to play much, but the adrenaline pumping made me nervous too. we will get pay back. meanwhile i should train more. rising to the occasion is something i desperately need.

30/31 DEC
was supposed to MOS. even you said you may join. but we saw the queue that snaked around clarke quay. horrifying. everyone has the same idea as us. is too bad we went Zouk-ing then. Black Label Jack Daniels. rushing in before 1030 for the cost savings. the oomph of Zouk is still there..but considerably quiet.. the effect of MOS and the limited clientele of clubbers locally i guess. Phuture-Zouk-Phuture-Zouk. R n B-Club- R n B. never felt so relaxed for such a long time.jugs of brandy coke-vodka lime-shooters. never thought i could get high .. but it didnt last though. moving to the beat was great. shouting into each other's ears were great. i was in two minds when you said you may wanna come. so what was i expected to do.. dance with you too? gd/bad- that you didnt come. Ray's dancing was crap. Tim looked okay.. a bit reserved.. Rus+SC of course were the stars.. well i let everything out.. and these two girls in black happen to get into the crowd next to me 3 times throughout the night.. the smaller girl had her bf with her, the gf of that girl looked kinda loss when bf+gf dancing...

god. i just realised that there are so many thick-skinned people in society. makes me ashamed to be a guy too. sole mission to club: To get close to girls and dance up to them. puke.. what type of rubbish is this. i could identify a few who just hang around in the middle of nowhere doing this. of course i noticed the girl having two dance partners- not that she wanted them to. and they still shamelessly hung around. gawd....

was still thinking that since this is a social place might as well talk up with the other people. so i thought if they came back a third time i may approach her. she was back. but WTF Ray with the retarded-drug addict-high on drugs-dance movement and facial expression just danced up to her back and moved to her body... and hands were on her waist soon. and lingered. and didnt get the hint that she is moving away as he followed and didnt want to let go.

im still jealous of people who look better than average. slightly handsome. classy. thats why dance moves didnt matter. ahh so? like i was even vaguely interested in the girl. i just pity her. not much of a choice? all was she just trying to get near Ray the whole night and not the group with the nicer dancing moves? lost mood after that.. so much so that i was just singing to myself and Rus was encouraging my enthusiasm likewise to the beginning of the night.

what i would like to be in 2006. Calm, assured, imposing, more of a presence. Not to fall under the influence like the other weak-willed mates in camp who always listen to Fatty-G. never to be fooled again. Decisive but not haughty. and nope still no bf gf stuff for me. like what Rus said: there's really no need to. he is a nice bloke ladies. give him a chance. dont discount him just because of his height. (just assuming). and Tim too.. such nice people around who should have hordes of people clamouring to be their steady.. but Tim never had any. good luck for 2006 peepz.. what shall i do tonight.. i need a distraction.

-never to look back to regret. never to worry excessively. learn. speak at the right time. right tone. and smile. oh ya. and step out of the shadows. 370 days and counting.-

one day i wont have to count anymore.

meanwhile...a hug would be nice. and...


argh. plans for the night just blown. looks like staying home's for me..