-visions of visions and U-

a cute dog that jumps around suddenly bites me when i went to hug it in my arms.
freely shopping with U that we hug and kiss like before, no matter who is around. (said this before..)
people i have never seen before that are protected by me.
people asking me out, feeling lost when i think that i m still keeping myself for u.

all these visions in my nights. they have to mean something. if not i wouldnt feel attached to them.

will there ever be someone who will turn back the head as we leave, and not just myself looking back at the departing backview of u?

i think its beautiful when you have something to work for and a motivation to drive you. for i only have my own future to build for now. not OURs. but no im not escaping the responsibility of u.

u will always be my soft spot no matter what. there are after all only two special people in my life only.

so how do u think of the people whom once seem so perfect and good
when i always say it takes someone who suits u knows u and truly cares for u to be really with u all the time.
words can be cheap. but actions can still be fake
what is true is only the heart and the feelings that wont leave.
hope u 2 talk it out. its not for my advantage. i stand aside only to lend my ears and shoulders.

stupid Ben took my wallet to check for gf photos. tell him dont have he wont believe. "i wish i had one too" i said. and i guarantee she will be a good Lumimi model definitely. then he ask "why? u see her naked before ah?"
i dont think theres a need to answer that.

tuesday night dreamt that u were at my neighbourhood shop and theres a gang of people harrassing u. i had to fight them off, dunno why i had these weapons. but no i dont get it. your friends just pull u away like im the enemy. i saw the look in your eyes. yes u didnt trust me at all. after all i did. i couldnt help it so i just let u go. i did my part to ensure u are safe.

than 1st june night/2nd june moring
i dreamt that i propose that i want you back
and u agreed.
and i brought u to my house to sleep over.
new house.
we were happily into our stuff.
and next day i show u to everyone anxiously. i dont ever want to forgo this chance again.
nothing went wrong. its absolutely perfect!

and then i woke up. i wanted to punch everyone and everything.
why put me through this when i could just carry on in my dream life. even if i die that way at least i will die happily. but no.
now i can only pray. that this is the ONLY thing i will want granted

wednesday night. i didnt go out the whole week. i didnt want to spend money. not even on myself. so i ate leftover dumplings from lunch for my dinner. then just sleep early. i hope u dont think i dont want to buy your shoes. or earrings. i looking all the time. and i have not even spend on my formal clothes.

dont understand why u dare me to put in when u dare me to do IT. and wanting me to go over for the night. am i considered only worthy of a night fling, or are there just somethings that others cant give to u? whatever it is i dont blame u. cause i dont see myself giving it to others.

how do u like the breakfast "in bed". i said i would go over. just to see u/ pass u the card and self made bookmark. anything else would be a bonus. but i learnt never to have my hopes up so high.. cause the fall will be harder. jiayou for your exams. and dont tire for working two days in a row.

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- i sent to u. will u know morse to crack it?
-enD-

(just realised the whole entry dedicated to U) .. diao.. exercise starts tml..