- why. cant. i ?-

i should not have said all this. all i know is i cant do it as well as i said before. used to be so easy.

Ur bf at ur house. well maybe u get sick more he will show face more ba? then can take care of u. for me really, im just a friend who cannot show face or concern le. i just want to drop by see how are u. but no i cant. no i dont blame anyone. of course i want u to be well. so whats best for u just go ahead ba. dont work so much le.

walk along the pasar malam. i couldnt control. 1 big cheese burger 1 roti john 1 taiwan sausage 1 chicken wing then orange juice coke and plain water. i go crazy. maybe its best i eat away what my mind is occupied is going on and on about. divert my attention. who said its going to be easy? the things that i want. i dont even want to think about the things i cant control. but i have gotten used to these "brain-crazy thinking modes" le.

hope i dont stomachache. tml going back into camp. hope u recover soon. put a flask in your room and drink more water. im not mad at not being able to go. just. u know la. the more i say later the more scared/frustrated u are. nvm