-如果有一天-

16/3. the feeling of just showered after long hours of field work. hmm sweet. light breeze. sunshine. bird calls. in my shorts singlet and slippers. sipping icy water. jealous? dont be. thats how life should be. and just reward for hard work out in the day. but more work to follow after the break.

its not easy to be me. im just log for my dream with loneliness as a friend.

"you can be late. as late as you want! as long as you are not later then bunk 1 !" <-- thats what i learnt this week. hypocrisy and abuse of power. total bias. i dont care who heard me when i say that. they may think im green-eyed or a sore loser. but i speak the truth.

也想 born to be blind。就可以不用看到这世界。也不会想有感情。因为没有人会对我有意思。
也不会想念你的微笑，你的脸，你的美。because i wont know you.
看不见，什么都使用心去想的。世界会是很美的。。

of course you all can say im a bastard to say that...

18/3 huixian meiz bday. happy birthday meiz. never reply my message. so busy ah..
was supposed to arrange to bring U to Topshop warehouse sale. but got no news of the place. hmm lucky u called to say about some modelling thing at taka. i couldnt care less i just changed and got out. so what if she was not pleased with my last minute decision. she has to bear with it.

to admit. i was abit disappointed you didnt dress up more. thought you were going for interview... but never mind. in my eyes... its all that matters..
taka - far east (for your favourite LJS) - cineleisure for K-box. - suntec - lakeside.

ya. i couldnt bring up the courage to really spend for you. i was in two minds everytime you saw something you wanted or liked. alot of stuff i would have done.

but the more and more you wanted me to sit away from you in the box. and i tried to shield you from the people moving around but you took offence (did u?). i didnt slap u. i just want to touch your face. i recognise the smell. i wanted a simple hug. i know i wouldnt ask for all this. we are different status.

at suntec went to meiz's stall to see the rings and earrings. she thought we were back together.
You wish.
I wish too.
went get pizza. sat outside under the sky facing the fountain. eat. talked abit. but she looked distracted. last time we were there... 14/2 valentine 2004. U vaguely recalled. i guess u wished the person beside u was.....

i guess u detest the name Sandy. i think i loathe the name Marcus.

i didnt think twice about not sending you home. 我会更加不舍得让你走。but u think i went back for meiz? why? and pushing me is not helping me. im not happy this way. killing my love is bad enough, although.. i cant blame u? if u really know what u really love. i know what i want. i really do. its just sad still that its not the same as yours.

"a kiss nowadays is nothing special, its just like a handshake, a form of greeting!"
-from 100% Ichigo

can i ask for a handshake from you.


(ps. please dont cry i dont want you to feel any pressure. sleep well for work later. sweet dreams. yes this is for U. U know who U are.)